The Second in 24

Here's the second script...This was more difficult, I had had only 4 hours of sleep, and panicked at 3am when I only had three minutes of staged writing...

It went over very well..I was completely exhausted at the end, but very gratified that I had succeeded...

JAZ: You’re listening to the reading of some of the names from the Relay for Life
Sparky Finn
Laurie Hart
John Romero
Diane Carsten
Margaret Nel
Robert Klein
Evelyn Polinder
Gene Dunlap
Fred Bannister
Gene Tucker
Grandma Rose
Debbie Tran
You’re listening to the reading of some of the names from the Relay for Life

(RACHEL APPEARING TO HAVE JUST HAD MEDICAL EXAM-CHRIS IN DR. COAT)
RACHEL: I just turned 16. Some people say I look older, some say I look younger. I think it depends on what I’m wearing and if I have makeup on. I just got my driver’s license. Really, I’ll show you. It’s not even the permanent one, it’s that funky black and white one you get while they check to see if you have a criminal record. I guess they also use it to register you for jury duty. I guess that’s if you’re over 18. I’d love to do jury duty, it seems so cool to sit there and listen to people’s stories, and then decide if they’re guilty or innocent, or if they were wronged in some way by the “other guy.” I totally believe in justice. Like if you do something wrong, there has to be a consequence, and if you do good things, then your life is rewarded.
No, I’m not getting all religious on you. I just try to live honestly and ethically, and have faith that I’m living a good life.
Why did I come in? My mom. Ugh. I have all these bruises on my arms and on my calves. I don’t know exactly when they happened, but I told her they were from soccer, but she made me come in anyway, just to get checked out. (CHRIS PUTS HIS HAND ON HER SHOULDER, HOLD A BEAT)
I’m sorry what?. (LIGHTS OUT ON RACHEL)

Jaz: You’re listening to the reading of some of the names from the Relay for Life
Lauren Strom
Russ Hardman
Dana Gustafson
Jim Smith
Karen Jackson
Diane Beld
Mary Lund
Ray Barton
Larry Johnson
Darlene Erickson
Virgil Allen
Ronald J. Taylor
You’re listening to the reading of some of the names from the Relay for Life

ZOE: (WITH HANDHELD MIC-DOES NOT HAVE TO BE FUNCTIONAL..AS IF DOING STANDUP COMEDY) Cancer sucks; let’s just get that out of the way. I’d like to kick Cancer in the Ass. I would like to fuck it up. I’ve never fucked up anything before, so I really think that would be cool. Oh wait, I fucked up a Spanish test last year. But it was stupid. It was about sports vocabulary, and I really don’t care about sports. I like to make people laugh. It feels good to laugh, don’t you think. Try it. No really, like this. (laughs, encourages audience to laugh too.-cuts them off) See, feel better? Or do you feel stupid? I’m sorry, what? That’s ok mister, you did look stupid, but that lady over here was watching you, and it made her laugh.
See, that’s the beauty of laughter. It’s healing. So I decided to get cancer before it gets me. See, I just found out that because there is cancer on both sides of my family, it increases my chances of getting it. I got my dad’s teeth, my mom’s eyes, and cancer genes. Sweet! So I keep laughing. Sometimes for no reason. That sort of fucks with people. I figure, I may get lucky and cancer may come along while I’m laughing, and then I’ll be ready to kick it’s ass.

Jaz: You’re listening to the reading of some of the names from the Relay for Life
Al Rozinski
Aunt Lorraine
Christine Walsh
Lois Archer
Lola Stone
Dory Roberts
Frank Langwa
Jessica Smith
Robert Mitchell
Vera Clock
Joe Martin
Beth Brown
You’re listening to the reading of some of the names from the Relay for Life

(SIDE BY SIDE IN CHAIRS, AS IF IN INFUSION CENTER)
CHRIS: What are you in for?

JOHN: I’m sorry, what?

CHRIS: What kind of cancer do you have?

JOHN: Lymphoma (shows him) you?

CHRIS: Prostate, (starts to show him, thinks again) How long?

JOHN: 4 weeks, 7 treatments to go. You.?

CHRIS: Same.

JOHN: (Pause)

CHRIS: How are you feeling?

JOHN: Sick to my stomach

CHRIS: Yeah, me too.

JOHN: Puking up my dinner

CHRIS: Praying to the porcelain god.

JOHN: Deliver a Copy of the Starr Report to the Porcelain Chamber

CHRIS: Uncivil Forfeiture of the Stroganoff

JOHN: Horizontal Liquid Graffiti

CHRIS: Chemo gift

JOHN: making gravy

CHRIS: it's a perfect 10 on the Linda Blair scale!!!!!

JOHN: Re-Doing Lunch

CHRIS: rewinding dinner

JOHN: Having an oral movement

CHRIS: re-greeting eating

JOHN: recycled meatloaf

CHRIS: downloading

JOHN: uploading

CHRIS: protein spill

JOHN: liquid laugh

CHRIS: spout fruit

JOHN: shout at your shoes

CHRIS: reverse gears

JOHN: the supermodel sound-off

CHRIS: Technicolor yawn

JOHN: Gorking Up The Four Food Groups

CHRIS: Mouth Fart

JOHN: eating backwards

CHRIS: Round Trip Meal Ticket

JOHN: sidewalk food

CHRIS: barfing up a lung

JOHN: Oral Target Practice

CHRIS: Oncologic Offering

JOHN: Here's Ralph! Where's Johnny?

CHRIS: Talking to God on the big white phone!

JOHN: from the stomach, past the gums, look out family here it COMES!


Jaz: You’re listening to the reading of some of the names from the Relay for Life
Naomi Loomis
Marie Geiger
Laura Huffman
Kelsy Mannis
Bill and Helen Bishop
Carol Ulrich
Vera Johnson
Ira Brown
Grandpa Al Windsor
Carole McBride
Donna Burgis
: Josie Chance
You’re listening to the reading of some of the names from the Relay for Life

RACHEL: (HAIR TIED UP IN SCARF AS IF BALD)
I just finished my first six months of having my driver’s license. 6 months since my diagnosis. I missed junior prom last spring. I had a date, this really hot guy that I’ve totally been crushing on since February, but (touches scarf on head) I couldn’t find a dress to match my scarf. Nothing fit right; I’ve lost so much weight. Heck of a diet, huh? And then all I could think about was that I had a garbage bag full of my hair in the bathroom. What hairstyle would possible work for me…. Hey, you know what the greatest thing about chemo is? No more bad hair days!!! So in the end, I didn’t go. But not because of the cancer.
No really, I changed my mind. I had this big science paper due the next week, and I had already missed so much school, I have to keep my grades up so I can get a scholarship for college. I really wanted to go to the dance. My mom went crazy when I told her I wasn’t going. She wants me to live one day at a time. I do. Sort of. I refuse to believe that I won’t be able to go to college. I‘m still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. (shakes it off) Ok, ok ok. Today, what am I doing today? Right now, I am kicking Cancer’s ass.

Jaz: You’re listening to the reading of some of the names from the Relay for Life
Bob Eickert
Edward J. Kimball
Kathleen Marshall
Skip
Ed Mansonick
Ivar Peterson
Deb Johnson
George Summersby
Sue March
Becky Taylorson
Mary Cane
You’re listening to the reading of some of the names from the Relay for Life

(TWO CHAIRS, AS IF WATCHING TV)
ZOE: Are you thirsty?

JOHN: No thanks

ZOE: Hungry?

JOHN: Nope

ZOE: Do you feel a draft?

JOHN: I’m good

ZOE: Are you comfortable there? Do you want anther pillow?

JOHN: (irritated) I’m fine

ZOE: I’m sorry,

JOHN: No I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped at you

ZOE: No, you were right, I’m annoying, I try not to be. Tell me what you need, and
I’ll get it for you.

JOHN: I need you to quit babying me.

ZOE: I’m afraid

JOHN: I’m sorry, I’m sorry, you didn’t do anything wrong. You’re fine. We’re fine. Ok? Ok?

ZOE: Ok.

JOHN: So just treat me like normal, ok? No special treatment we’ll just take things day by day, ok?

ZOE: Ok

JOHN: Now I’m going to watch the rest of the game ok? You don’t have to sit with me.

ZOE: Ok, I’m going into the kitchen for a drink, you sure you don’t want something? (he puts his hand up, smiles) ok. I’ll be right back (exits to “kitchen”, after a beat)
John; can you come in and take out the garbage?

JOHN: But I’m sick!

Jaz: You’re listening to the reading of some of the names from the Relay for Life (this continues under the last, and until the end)
Diedre Kent
Bess Chrisman
Linda Allen

CHRIS: I walk because, at least I feel like I’m doing something positive

JAZ: Joe Super
Shirley Simon
Gwen Hunter

JOHN: I walk because I can

JAZ: Rosemary Wefer
Katie Walker
Bonnie Hart Southcott

ZOE: I walk because I’m going to kick cancer’s ass

JAZ: Blythe Cole Bush
Clay Millage
Connie Orfanos

RACHEL: I walk because I’m a survivor

JAZ Alton Grimes
Zachary Bunnell
Julie Nawrocki
Betty Ann Reay
You’re been listening to the reading of some of the names from the Relay for Life