Wednesday, January 31, 2018
For Jules
Today is your day…. This is for you.
It doesn’t hurt that it’s your birthday. (or does it hurt?) ;-)
Don’t make that face…I’m still older than you.
You are one of my dearest, most consistent, systemically funny, kind, sensitive, loud friends. Ok, maybe you are the loudest… You are smart, talented and creative.
And you love deeper and you love forever. This way of being has influenced me as we grew up together (and apart) but what has always been a constant for us (besides the puree) is that I can always trust you to be honest with me…even when you are scared I will judge you.
I respect you so much. Your parents would have come around, Kathy and Maggie are amazing testaments to your love.
Happy Birthday sweet friend! <3
For Uncle Joel
The first few weeks of 2018 were painful. Friends and family lost family and friends. I have attended twice as many funerals this year already than I did last year.
It is time to turn this year around.
I recently attended a meeting with the Hearing Loss Association and the speaker, Melanie Cool (can I tell you how much I love her name?) talked about the importance of three concepts that will help you find your way to happy. Which I didn't write down, so, with my horrible memory, I had to search on line to find the 3. 1. Gratitude (duh) 2. Zest for life. (yes!) and #3 being "Hope."
She also talked about how to reframe “I can’t” into “I can.”
So I got lost in my thoughts about one thing I can’t do.
I can’t go to one more funeral this year. Ok, so I don't WANT to, if I HAVE to, I will. Because I know I can’t personally keep that from happening. I’m not in charge of that part of the universe. What I CAN do, is tell people who are still here how much they mean to me before it’s too late for me to write or talk, or for them to read or hear me.
(Of course, if you are reading this, you ARE one of those who means much to me. Even if you don’t think we are “that” close, you are taking time to read this now, so I at the very least, appreciate you giving me a minute.)
Whatever, for seven days, every day, I wrote to a handful of strangers, friends and family, with whatever sentiment I wanted/needed to tell them before it's "too late." These were things as superficial as a Facebook comment that included a recipe that I was grateful for, or something more profound, like their being in my life changed my life…
I was able to do this before we lost Bill. I called him and told him the things I needed to say to him. I promised I would be there for Lisette and the boys, and I know it gave him comfort.
It takes seven repeats of something to make it a habit. (or is it three? Or a month?) I’m still at it.
Today is your day…. This is for you.
It doesn’t hurt that it’s your birthday. (or does it hurt?) ;-)
One of my first memories of you was when you were in the army and you came to visit us and brought Craig and me a leather fringe jacket and t-shirts from Fort Bragg. Another gift I remember is a small red garnet-like ring. (is it a ruby maybe?) I don’t know when you gave it to me, how old I was, or whether it was too big or too small for me to wear when you did. Do you remember that? Would you believe I still have that ring? I never could wear it, and I just couldn’t let it go. It’s in my jewelry box that I see about every day. And every day, it makes me think of you.
You are my favorite relative. At one time or another, I’ve loved you more than I loved any other uncle, aunt, cousin, sibling and/or parent.
Having known you all my life, I realize how little of that time we have spent together talking in person or over the phone, but I know for me, the time is very special.
I dread the day you are not a phone call away. I know it will happen.
Loyalty and commitment to family is something I learned from you, I observed your consistency in action, and it meant so much to me in my life.
I want you to know that until my last breath, I will love you, your girls and boys to my core, and I will be there for all of you whenever you ask.
It is time to turn this year around.
I recently attended a meeting with the Hearing Loss Association and the speaker, Melanie Cool (can I tell you how much I love her name?) talked about the importance of three concepts that will help you find your way to happy. Which I didn't write down, so, with my horrible memory, I had to search on line to find the 3. 1. Gratitude (duh) 2. Zest for life. (yes!) and #3 being "Hope."
She also talked about how to reframe “I can’t” into “I can.”
So I got lost in my thoughts about one thing I can’t do.
I can’t go to one more funeral this year. Ok, so I don't WANT to, if I HAVE to, I will. Because I know I can’t personally keep that from happening. I’m not in charge of that part of the universe. What I CAN do, is tell people who are still here how much they mean to me before it’s too late for me to write or talk, or for them to read or hear me.
(Of course, if you are reading this, you ARE one of those who means much to me. Even if you don’t think we are “that” close, you are taking time to read this now, so I at the very least, appreciate you giving me a minute.)
Whatever, for seven days, every day, I wrote to a handful of strangers, friends and family, with whatever sentiment I wanted/needed to tell them before it's "too late." These were things as superficial as a Facebook comment that included a recipe that I was grateful for, or something more profound, like their being in my life changed my life…
I was able to do this before we lost Bill. I called him and told him the things I needed to say to him. I promised I would be there for Lisette and the boys, and I know it gave him comfort.
It takes seven repeats of something to make it a habit. (or is it three? Or a month?) I’m still at it.
Today is your day…. This is for you.
It doesn’t hurt that it’s your birthday. (or does it hurt?) ;-)
One of my first memories of you was when you were in the army and you came to visit us and brought Craig and me a leather fringe jacket and t-shirts from Fort Bragg. Another gift I remember is a small red garnet-like ring. (is it a ruby maybe?) I don’t know when you gave it to me, how old I was, or whether it was too big or too small for me to wear when you did. Do you remember that? Would you believe I still have that ring? I never could wear it, and I just couldn’t let it go. It’s in my jewelry box that I see about every day. And every day, it makes me think of you.
You are my favorite relative. At one time or another, I’ve loved you more than I loved any other uncle, aunt, cousin, sibling and/or parent.
Having known you all my life, I realize how little of that time we have spent together talking in person or over the phone, but I know for me, the time is very special.
I dread the day you are not a phone call away. I know it will happen.
Loyalty and commitment to family is something I learned from you, I observed your consistency in action, and it meant so much to me in my life.
I want you to know that until my last breath, I will love you, your girls and boys to my core, and I will be there for all of you whenever you ask.
Monday, January 29, 2018
For Abby
Today is your day…. This is for you.
Since the first time we met at Temple Ramat Zion and you and Nina invited me to come sit with your family, my feelings of gratitude and appreciation towards all of you have been completely unconditional.
You, Abby, were always the “smart one.”
I felt silly and vapid next to you, and you never made me feel that way.
Even thought it was never the three or four of us on a regular basis, when first you lost Nina, and then Marjorie, I felt as if I needed to wrap you in my heart and protect you from any more hurt.
Of course, I suck at that...
To this day, I am in awe of you. I don’t think you do what you do for any other reason that you just seem to always be able to put one foot forward and keep moving and trying to make the world better. Even when you are stuck (do you ever get stuck?) you rally. Personally, I appreciate you for what you continue to do for women, for marginalized members of the Jewish community, and for your family. You are my hero.
In the face of all of your devastating losses, you have continued to inspire me to do better and be a better person.
Since the first time we met at Temple Ramat Zion and you and Nina invited me to come sit with your family, my feelings of gratitude and appreciation towards all of you have been completely unconditional.
You, Abby, were always the “smart one.”
I felt silly and vapid next to you, and you never made me feel that way.
Even thought it was never the three or four of us on a regular basis, when first you lost Nina, and then Marjorie, I felt as if I needed to wrap you in my heart and protect you from any more hurt.
Of course, I suck at that...
To this day, I am in awe of you. I don’t think you do what you do for any other reason that you just seem to always be able to put one foot forward and keep moving and trying to make the world better. Even when you are stuck (do you ever get stuck?) you rally. Personally, I appreciate you for what you continue to do for women, for marginalized members of the Jewish community, and for your family. You are my hero.
In the face of all of your devastating losses, you have continued to inspire me to do better and be a better person.
Friday, January 26, 2018
For Lisette
This is for you.
It is sorta weird, since your loss is one of the things that prompted this exercise in the first place.
But today, I want to focus on you, who you are to me, and why I love and appreciate you so much (beyond the 50 reasons you already should know…..)
You are not my youngest cousin, but you are the first cousin I ever held in my arms as a baby. You were mine, more than my sisters were mine. For the first few years of your life, I saw you A LOT because, well, because that’s how it was done way back then. I never had to change your diaper ( ;-) ) so the magic and mystery remains.
You are still very magic to me. Your ability to connect with people is inspiring. Your ability to focus your strength is equally balanced by your ability to express your raw emotions. I always admire that in you.
The physical distance between us and your busy life with the boys has kept me from imposing on your home on a regular basis, but looking back, I realize I have spent as much time, if not more time, in your presence in the past five years as I have with any other member of my immediate family. I appreciate that you opened your home and your heart to me in such a difficult time.
I will always be here for you. I am a text, a phone call, a plane, bus or car ride away.
I love you always sweet cousin.
It is sorta weird, since your loss is one of the things that prompted this exercise in the first place.
But today, I want to focus on you, who you are to me, and why I love and appreciate you so much (beyond the 50 reasons you already should know…..)
You are not my youngest cousin, but you are the first cousin I ever held in my arms as a baby. You were mine, more than my sisters were mine. For the first few years of your life, I saw you A LOT because, well, because that’s how it was done way back then. I never had to change your diaper ( ;-) ) so the magic and mystery remains.
You are still very magic to me. Your ability to connect with people is inspiring. Your ability to focus your strength is equally balanced by your ability to express your raw emotions. I always admire that in you.
The physical distance between us and your busy life with the boys has kept me from imposing on your home on a regular basis, but looking back, I realize I have spent as much time, if not more time, in your presence in the past five years as I have with any other member of my immediate family. I appreciate that you opened your home and your heart to me in such a difficult time.
I will always be here for you. I am a text, a phone call, a plane, bus or car ride away.
I love you always sweet cousin.
Thursday, January 25, 2018
For Gail
Happy Anniversary!!!
This is for you.
You are my oldest (read “longest lasting”) and dearest friend. That is no small task, given we have remained friends while we live across the country from one another. We have lived apart nearly four times as long as we lived in the same time zone. When we are together, or when we talk, whether it’s a week, a month or a year, even with catching up, is as if no time has passed and we are comfortable together. (at least, you always make me feel comfortable…)
You know just about everything about me…all of my family, all of my boyfriends. You were there when I got married. You and I have never had an argument (that I am aware of) and that is a major milestone. I argue with EVERYONE at least once!
You are more than my friend, you are the sister of my heart…as different as we are, as multi-talented and artistic as you are, you never make me feel inadequate. You are my hero, you are my rock.
Love you always, my dear friend.
This is for you.
You are my oldest (read “longest lasting”) and dearest friend. That is no small task, given we have remained friends while we live across the country from one another. We have lived apart nearly four times as long as we lived in the same time zone. When we are together, or when we talk, whether it’s a week, a month or a year, even with catching up, is as if no time has passed and we are comfortable together. (at least, you always make me feel comfortable…)
You know just about everything about me…all of my family, all of my boyfriends. You were there when I got married. You and I have never had an argument (that I am aware of) and that is a major milestone. I argue with EVERYONE at least once!
You are more than my friend, you are the sister of my heart…as different as we are, as multi-talented and artistic as you are, you never make me feel inadequate. You are my hero, you are my rock.
Love you always, my dear friend.
Wednesday, January 24, 2018
This is for Cindy Smooch
As one of my oldest (read “long term”) friends, we have a lot of history. I hold in my heart complete gratitude for you being my friend when we were teenagers (and I was the awkward one, you were the cool one) and all the time we spent together your last year in high school.
The universe seemed to feel it was important for us to cross paths after that…first in downtown LA which led me to live in my coolest apartment in Long Beach. Years (ages) after that I found you again here in Bellingham.
We were together for broken hearts and broken relationships..parenting woes and joys..and continue to this day with Issues with siblings and parents.
Even though we rarely see each other (and usually, that’s to celebrate birthdays…ahem…) After all these years, after all that we have been through, apart and together…your friendship and our history is very dear to me.
Tuesday, January 23, 2018
This is for Daniela Giles - I don't even know you.
This is for you. I don't even know you.
Earlier this year, I joined a FB Low Carb group. This WOE* (Way of Eating) has helped me lose 30 lbs since May. Today was an “off day” but for the most part, I’m pretty good about this and eat meals and keep snacks to “on program.”
But oh, how I have missed my sushi.
Now, anyone who knows me, knows that I do not believe that cream cheese belongs within a football field of sushi. I don’t recall seeing any “California Rolls” when I was in Tokyo many years ago. but then, mostly I ate raw fish w/o rice at all…
But I digress.
Today, Daniela posted a link to Keto Sushi and I will be forever grateful, as riced cauliflower has been my BFF for months now. I’m even willing to try it with the cream cheese to bind the rice.
Thank you Daniela. You have taught me to think outside the box. And my next trick will be to make low carb PAELLA!!
Earlier this year, I joined a FB Low Carb group. This WOE* (Way of Eating) has helped me lose 30 lbs since May. Today was an “off day” but for the most part, I’m pretty good about this and eat meals and keep snacks to “on program.”
But oh, how I have missed my sushi.
Now, anyone who knows me, knows that I do not believe that cream cheese belongs within a football field of sushi. I don’t recall seeing any “California Rolls” when I was in Tokyo many years ago. but then, mostly I ate raw fish w/o rice at all…
But I digress.
Today, Daniela posted a link to Keto Sushi and I will be forever grateful, as riced cauliflower has been my BFF for months now. I’m even willing to try it with the cream cheese to bind the rice.
Thank you Daniela. You have taught me to think outside the box. And my next trick will be to make low carb PAELLA!!
Monday, January 22, 2018
This is for Sherry Spitzer:
This is for you.
I appreciate you for so many things. Of course #1 is that you talked Ken into placing that ad. :-) But also for being part of our wedding, part of the birth of our first baby, and most recently, for making the effort to be here for what may well be my last large-scale directing gig. And all those photos. But it’s not all about me (I know that surprises you..) For being a good person, through all your own personal tribulations, to always show me it’s easy to be there for someone else. I love you Spitzer. Always will.
This is for you.
I appreciate you for so many things. Of course #1 is that you talked Ken into placing that ad. :-) But also for being part of our wedding, part of the birth of our first baby, and most recently, for making the effort to be here for what may well be my last large-scale directing gig. And all those photos. But it’s not all about me (I know that surprises you..) For being a good person, through all your own personal tribulations, to always show me it’s easy to be there for someone else. I love you Spitzer. Always will.
Sunday, January 21, 2018
Happier New Year
The first few weeks of 2018 were painful. Friends and family lost family and friends. I have attended twice as many funerals this year already than I did last year.
It is time to turn this year around.
I attended a meeting with the Hearing Loss Association just yesterday and the speaker, Melanie Cool (can I tell you how much I love her name?) talked about the importance of three concepts that will help you find your way to happy. Which I didn't write down, so, with my horrible memory, I had to search on line to find the 3. 1. Gratitude (duh) 2. Zest for life. (yes!) and #3 being "Hope."
She also talked about how to reframe “I can’t” into “I can.”
So I got lost in my thoughts about one thing I can’t do.
I can’t go to one more funeral this year. Ok, so I don't WANT to, if I HAVE to, I will. Because I know I can’t personally keep that from happening. I’m not in charge of that part of the universe. What I CAN do, is tell people who are still here how much they mean to me. Of course, if you are reading this, you ARE one of those who means much to me. Even if I don’t “know you” personally, you are taking time to read this now, so I at the very least, appreciate you giving me a minute.
It takes seven repeats of something to make it a habit. (or is it three? Or a month?) Whatever, for the next seven days, every day, I will be writing to friends and family, with whatever sentiment I want/need to tell them before it's "too late." I hope I get to your personal note before it's too late.
It is time to turn this year around.
I attended a meeting with the Hearing Loss Association just yesterday and the speaker, Melanie Cool (can I tell you how much I love her name?) talked about the importance of three concepts that will help you find your way to happy. Which I didn't write down, so, with my horrible memory, I had to search on line to find the 3. 1. Gratitude (duh) 2. Zest for life. (yes!) and #3 being "Hope."
She also talked about how to reframe “I can’t” into “I can.”
So I got lost in my thoughts about one thing I can’t do.
I can’t go to one more funeral this year. Ok, so I don't WANT to, if I HAVE to, I will. Because I know I can’t personally keep that from happening. I’m not in charge of that part of the universe. What I CAN do, is tell people who are still here how much they mean to me. Of course, if you are reading this, you ARE one of those who means much to me. Even if I don’t “know you” personally, you are taking time to read this now, so I at the very least, appreciate you giving me a minute.
It takes seven repeats of something to make it a habit. (or is it three? Or a month?) Whatever, for the next seven days, every day, I will be writing to friends and family, with whatever sentiment I want/need to tell them before it's "too late." I hope I get to your personal note before it's too late.
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